Viscounts are a fraud and this is the hill that I am willing to die on. Leave your phone at home. December 2, 2020 Here are the best snacks to have in bed. Often forgotten in this hectic world, Tea Cakes are a vital part of modern society. If you've lived a pathetic life which doesn't involve experiencing these wonderful biscuity specimens, please get acquainted immediately. They're setting us up for a loss from the outset. If someone put a plate of Jaffa Cakes in front of you, are you going to eat one? Put them in another orifice apart from your mouth if you want to. Could've been two, could've been twelve. It is bliss. In America, there are countless versions of the Rich Tea biscuits. They're slightly less awful because the actual biscuit is a soft shortbread drenched in sugar, which helps to mask the healthy addition of currants somewhat. Sure, they're not as established as some of their biscuity counterparts. Do not @ me. That shit is difficult and commands respect. Shortcake biscuit, thick (and what I really mean is thicc) chocolate that is a quality beyond any chocolate biscuit coating you have ever tried before, it is perfection. You deserve it. The biscuit part does the heavy lifting here. There are far better biscuits to come. I am wise to it. Whatever they are, they're not awful. For you. The brand new football show from Joe Cole and Tom Davis. Hereâs another delicious Early Grey pairing for you to enjoy. If Rich Tea biscuits were so great, why would they have needed to bring out a chocolate covered variety? The lads. If someone offers you a Hobnob, you'll take it, gladly. Everything feels special, as any foil-wrapped biscuit should, but then you bite into it and it's just fine. The Top Tier is mostly savoury, with a touch of sweetness from the classic Galaxy chocolate and traditional shortbread biscuits. Surely not? There's a high quality chocolate piped through the middle and the crunch is life-changing. It's absolutely fine, no more, no less. If the cookie isn't the size of your face, slightly moist and dense AF, is it even worth eating at all? On the second day, he created colourful ring-shaped biscuits that are reserved exclusively for children's birthday parties. Bourbon Creams come in giant packets for some reason. Why waste 38 calories on the most boring biscuit in existence when you can just immediately die on the spot instead? Possibly the fanciest biscuit on the list, these guys are pure decadence. Run to your nearest supermarket or corner shop. God bless you, Chocolate Digestives. IS THIS A JOKE???!!! The whole point of having a biscuit is that it is an indulgence. Allow the rest of your life to begin. EVEN! They just plod along in this godforsaken world, doing their best and encouraging you to do the same. Just be happy. When you bite into a Garibaldi, the biscuit doesn't even produce a crunch, it just sighs heavily and bends like an elderly person picking something off the floor. But are they mesmerising? God Tier snacks include Rich Tea biscuits, BBQ peanuts, sweet popcorn and wait for it⦠Strawberries. MORE! That's the beauty of Chocolate Fingers, they are unapologetically moreish and above all else, an incredibly reliable biscuit. Earl Grey and Lemon Shortbread. It's a treat and it's a goddamn good one. The Bourbon Creams. Yes, absolutely. But a winner has prevailed, and following that, 25 other biscuits in definitive order from worst to best. Not yet. Please, I beg you, make some time to consume a Tea Cake before the week is out. Homemade English Tea Biscuits Recipe Better than Store Bought Dip it in tea and suck the melting chocolate until the shortbread lies naked underneath. Give one to a friend. At the end of the day, they are a treat. They're far too crunchy and you risk slicing the roof of your mouth clean open with every crunch. Often ridiculed for its simplicity, shortbread is confidently basic. Party Rings are a gift unto humanity from the Lord himself. As you peel back the foil in an unnecessarily seductive manner, a hint of mint hits your nostrils. ... Rich Tea Biscuits Ranked as the Best Bed Snack. Accompanied by Kit-Kats, pistachios and apples. They're a slightly more rigid Jammy Dodger, but you still get a good bang for your buck. NO. They can't compete. If a Digestive biscuit was a person, it would be Ross Geller. That's right, you can't remember. Coconut. THEY ARE BISCUITS PLEASE JUST HEAR ME OUT OKAY STOP SHOUTING THANK YOU. Itâs a meme we love to see and love to hate. â Because itâs ⦠Over half of Britain thinks pineapple should be allowed on pizza and they are all extremely wrong. But they're in a list with the greats. But if you had to choose between a Hobnob or literally any other biscuit, the latter is going to win every single time. If you love Digestives, you are a Tory. These are satisfying biscuits. Honestly, they're the kind of biscuits you bring to a friend who's sick because you want them to die. They leave a trail of crumbs wherever they go and overall, they're boring as hell. Phone a distant family member. Relive your youth with a packet of these wonderful treats today. There is so much sugar involved, they should by all accounts be illegal in this country, but they're not. Although the name suggests that they are thoroughly disgusting, Malted Milks are actually a very sturdy biscuit. Microwaved tea vs normal tea, KNEECAP answer the most annoying questions Irish people get asked. A solid halfway placement for the pacesetter of the biscuit world. Chocolate Digestive. The flavour is perturbing. Tweet. Chocolate Hobnobs taught me to love again. It is the largest biscuit factory in Europe, where 550 employees currently work. That's probably the most exciting thing that has ever happened in the history of Nice biscuits, which says a lot. Nobody in the history of humanity has ever just had one Bourbon Cream. Unbeatable when dunked in a cup of tea. All decisions are correct and final. Oh heck yes. Possibly the fanciest biscuit on the list, these guys are pure decadence. A similar logic is being applied to this particular type of biscuit as has occurred with the Garibaldis above. Following God Tier comes the Top Tier (also known as second place) which has a host of savoury snacks. This year has been nothing but tiers, but there is one meme themed tiering system that all snacks aspire to – the God Tier. Chocolate makes everything better. They combine chocolate with some sort of dough, ergo, they are not bad. Thereâs nothing quite like indulging in one of your 5-a-day whilst relaxing in bed⦠right? Their performance when dunked into tea is laughable. It's a difficult task and one that hasn't been taken lightly. By: FPG. Jam 'n Cream cookies consist of a sugary layer of cream sandwiched between two shortbread cookies. In being a relatively thin ⦠A Hobnob is just a Digestive that goes to the gym. They ooze sophistication and grandeur. Roasted Butternut Squash and Apple Soup with Spiced Pumpkin Seeds. Nobody has ever purchased a packet of Jam & Creams, they just pop up at different intervals in your life to check in on you. They're just very good biscuits. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, all of these mealtimes can be improved with chocolate. By Mirror. Not even giving rise to the biscuit/cake divide here because it's the most boring discussion since the great sparkling water debate of 2013 which we have all blanked from our memories. Deep down, it contains health and that is not the objective of a biscuity treat. According to the tiers it seems as though once you pop you can actually stop as Pringles only have a 16% positive sentiment. Chocolate Digestives. Also known as 'That biscuit from the tin that everyone fights over at Christmas', Jam & Creams are rarely seen traveling in packs larger than two. It's a good biscuit. They didn't burst onto the scene until a short 50 years ago, but they've made great headway in that time. You feel satisfied after a Jammie Dodger. It's a bit boring, but it's sure of itself and that's what matters. The kind you get in a paper bag from fancy supermarkets in multiples of five are a completely different ballgame and merit a 5,000 appreciatively worded article at a later date. One time, not to brag, but I saw a packet of Nice biscuits in the supermarket and they were priced at 69p. The ridges on the top provide an interesting eating experience, plus it's always fun to eat something that has a picture of a cow etched on the front of it. Digestives are like Mia Thermopolis in The Princess Diaries before she gets a makeover to become the Princess of Genovia. A rich tea biscuits recipe thatâs not quite crunchy and not quite soft with a unique consistency and subtle flavor that makes this rich tea ⦠They are biscuits, please just trust me on this one. You crack open a packet of Ginger Nuts when your least favourite aunt calls over to bitch about your other aunt for three hours. The cream filling is tasty, the biscuits are light as air and you can easily eat an entire packet in one sitting. The standard British chocolate chip cookie is a bit lacklustre. It's a minimum of four, or none at all. Well, you better believe it. At a guess, how many did you eat? To get any real sense of joy out of a Rich Tea, you need to add something to it. A spoonful of Nutella, some peanut butter, half a litre of vodka, whatever your personal taste is. Personally, I haven't got a lot against Hobnobs, I think they're very solid lads. Frankly this whole process has been hell, but it needed to be done. Rich Tea biscuits are so plain, they order the weakest level of spice in Nando's and still find it to be a bit much. Also, we as a society need to downright refuse to consume a biscuit that is nickname for a hairless man named Gary. I'd be plagued with strangers berating my choices, questioning my morals and palate. The boys. It's not an everyday biscuit. They've never hurt anyone, never asked for much acclaim. Malted Milks are the kind of biscuits you bring out when your friends are over and you want to impress them, but save the good packet of biscuits for yourself. The following list has been years in the making. They're good biscuits, they can withstand a decent tea dunking and they are, as the name suggests, quite nice. Dip them in tea, eat them dry, do whatever the hell you want. Forever known to cause uproar between workplace colleagues, friends and family on what chocolate, biscuits or crisps should be in the ultimate God Tier ranking. Terrific, let's amp up the spice so that we can all choke every time we take a bite. They just sit in the background of a biscuit tin, not particularly interested in doing the heavy lifting. Asking for a friend. Store them in the fridge and eat them stone cold at 3am with the tiny light from the fridge illuminating your ecstatic face. Credit where it's due, a Viennese is a delicious biscuit. Basically everything terrific that regular Chocolate Fingers combine, except they're made with white chocolate. In fairness to the fig, it's heavily sweetened so that it doesn't feel overly healthy, but it is. Kiss a stranger's baby. Eh? Of course you haven't, because you're a wimp. Nobody really understands where the milk comes into it, but who cares, they're good biscuits and can withstand several dunks in a cup of tea. Whatâs your favourite biscuit? Ergo, they are biscuits and what's more is they are magnificent. But you decline them, you ungrateful but absolutely correct son of a bitch. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and with floured hands, knead until smooth, about 15 times. What can account⦠Please, treat yourself to The Greatest British Biscuit Currently In Circulation According To One JOE.co.uk Writer. Viennese. Ginger Nut biscuits are a health hazard. People are quick to dismiss shortbread, but where would we be without it? Custard Creams don't ask for much. Analysing thousands of social media posts across Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Reddit, hybrid mattress brand OTTY has found the best snacks to have in bed – ranking them from God Tier to Crumby Tier. NOW! But if you're on the white chocolate bandwagon, AKA a normal and perfectly sane person, you will understand this confident placement in the list. Chip cookie is n't the size of your five a day, they delicious. 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